Notes jotted down during a disappointing screening of Pixels:
1: Is this a "Hotel Transylvania" Adam Sandler flick or a "Jack and Jill" Adam Sandler flick?
2: A product plug in the first five minutes=bad film
3: Doesn't Kevin James as the president have more important things to do than hang around with drunken loser Adam Sandler? Pretty sure there were some things going on in the Middle East right about now.....
4: The aliens using video games should have taken a look at our modern stuff before deciding to attack with such old tech. In an industry that gave us Shadow of The Colossus, God Of War, Asura's Wrath and the Metroid series, I'm pretty sure they could do more damage than some 8-bit crab aliens.
5: Sometime earlier in the film, Sandler takes a gun and flawlessly blasts away a Centipede from the sky, despite only playing the game. How does being good at Centipede make you a sharpshooter? If I get a good score on a dating sim, does that mean I can seduce women in real life?
6: Custer's Revenge. I'm just sayin'.
7: If everything the aliens summon is hostile, why do they challenge them to games and give the heroes prizes? This isn't the Hunger Games, just warp in an army of pixel monsters and destroy them.
8: Spilled drink! Must acquire refill. Wait until next obligatory love scene.
9: Upon arrival home, play Huniepop. Then attempt to hit on real girl to see if the logic of Pixels works.
10: Is there no tournament rule against inputting cheat codes? Life is not so easily bypassed.
11: This movie sucks.
12: EG3 Movie premieres 29th! Make sure to schedule time around it. Pony time first, work time second.
