The Critical Frog: The Oogieloves In The Big Balloon Adventure

Hey, anybody remember The Wiggles? You know, the 4 costumed guys who would sing and have adventures with their friends and sometimes assorted children? Yeah, they were entertaining, and they had a good idea behind them: meeting stars like Steve Irwin to sing a song and running into misfit characters like Henry The Octopus, Dorothy The Dinosaur and my favorite, Captain Feathersword. It was fun to watch when you were little, but somehow you managed to like watching it when you were an adult (or maybe my dad was a special case). Or, at least it was when the Wiggles were the originals.

Since then, 3 of the 4 Wiggles have quit. Murray, Greg and Jeff are all retired and have been replaced. I honestly can`t say I`m familiar with the new Wiggles, but I know one is a girl with a bow in her hair. This comes off as odd to me seeing as how I grew up with the 4 men. But I`m not talking about The Wiggles today. As much as I would love to, I`ve got something terrible to review that attempted to follow the style of The Wiggles and failed horrendously. This monster of an idea is known as The Oogieloves in The Big Balloon Adventure, or as I like to call it, Jim Henson`s Nightmare.

This does not have the charm that The Wiggles had. It does not have the fun aspect. It does not have the creative characters. It`s quite simply the stereotypical bad children`s show- the one they always play in cartoons to illustrate the idea that kid`s TV is stupid. Where The Wiggles gave us memorable songs like `Fruit Salad` (Yummy, Yummy) and `Do The Twist` (and their Magnum Opus, `Six Months In A Leaky Boat`), The Oogieloves gives us `Scratchy Sneezy Cough Cough` and `March And Moo`. I was intrigued when I saw that something like the Oogieloves would be played in theaters everywhere (in contrast, the Metropolitan Operas are only in a few select theaters), and when I looked it up online later, I was not at all surprised to see it was a box office flop. So grab some fruit salad and a cup of rosy tea- it`s time to discover what makes The Wiggles look like a serial drama.

Before the actual movie begins, we are introduced to the Oogieloves, 3 humanoid puppets with apparent traits and skills: the green one, Goobie, is smart. The purple one, Toobie, is athletic. And the yellow one, Zoozie, is a girl and can apparently speak every language in the universe (I`d like to see her speak Klingon sometime). We are told that we can shout and stand up to dance and sing throughout the movie, and that it is good to sing and dance in a movie theater. While this may work for a small child`s idea of film, it wouldn`t exactly be good to burst out into song during a screening of, say, V for Vendetta or Silence Of The Lambs, would it? Bad advice, Oogieloves.

We open the actual movie with the Oogieloves emerging from their beds, arms outstretched in what I can only say is a salute to the Third Reich, as they see their friends Ruffy the grumpy fish and J. Edgar the vacuum cleaner (because clearly small children will understand and appreciate the reference to J. Edgar Hoover) assisting them in preparing for the birthday of Schluufy (yes, Schluufy) the pillow. Everything is set, until J. Edgar trips and loses the 5 magic balloons that they wanted to give to Schluufy. How the vacuum cleaner managed to trip is unknown, but the balloons fly off. The Oogieloves ask the advice of their friend Windy Window (the downright creepiest window with a human face ever), who can show them where the balloons are. The Oogieloves grab Ruffy and the group go on a quest to recover the balloons. Why can`t they just buy some more? Because apparently those were the last magic balloons in all of Lovelyloveville (no, really. That`s the name.) .

The group discovers the first balloon at the top of a tree. The tree belongs to Dotty Rounder and her granddaughter Jubilee. The two are happy to sing a song and dance with the Oogieloves about shaking your body (with polka dots), but then tell the heroes that nobody has ever climbed the enormous tree before. Toofie accepts the challenge and manages to climb all the way to the top. Dotty and Jubilee give the puppet monsters a present for Schluufy to say thank you along with the balloon.The Oogieloves give a cheer and are off to locate the next balloon.

The second magic balloon is at Milky Marvin`s milkshake joint, where it is to be given out as a prize for the milkshake drinking contest going on. Marvin, his milkshake making cow Lulu, and a very bored waitress lead the patrons of the area in a song about marching and mooing to get milkshakes, which is very repetitive but tolerable. The group get Milkshakes and enter the contest (the milkshakes, might I add, are gross flavors like pickle and pizza). Ruffy, always angry, refuses a milkshake but is forced to have one to enter the contest. The Oogieloves do not win, but Ruffy chugs down his disgusting drink the fastest and wins the gang the second balloon. Milky Marvin also hears about the pillow`s birthday and gives them a special milkshake for Schluffy (I don`t quite remember it, but I thought I heard `blueberry` and `bacon`).

The third balloon is being taken on tour by a superstar with constant allergies. I don`t remember much about this part, but they sing a song about having allergies and being sick, with the loving and heartwarming title of `Scratchy Sneezy Cough Cough`. The Oogieloves convince the starlet to give up her 3rd balloon before she goes, and she gives them some flowers for Schluufy as a token of thanks.

The fourth balloon is on top of a bubble truck belonging to Bobby Wobbly, played by Cary Elwes, better known as Wesley (or the Dread Pirate Roberts) from The Princess Bride. His trucker bird friend tells Zoozie that she can`t fly, and Toofie cannot climb the truck because Bobby doesn`t want it to be damaged. Bobby arrives and sings a country song with the Oogieloves about wobbling and wiggling (leave The Wiggles out of this!). Zoozie then convinces the bird to try to fly. She does, and grabs the balloon for the Oogieloves. Bobby also gives them some bubbles for Schluufy (is it me, or does everyone in this world have some kind of weird obsession?).

The 5th and final balloon is at the top of a windmill that is so big even Toofie won`t climb it. The group decides to hurry to finish the task and comes across an enormous sombrero maintained by Lola Sombrero (Jamie Presley). She then says the sombrero moves and is powered by dancing. We meet her husband, who whirls around to reveal.....my god, it`s Christopher Lloyd!

Yeah, Christopher Lloyd, best known for Judge Doom and Doc Brown, is somehow in The Oogieloves. He must have fallen on some hard times to be playing the mute Lero Sombrero.

Anyway, the group dances and gets to the windmill. They retrieve the last balloon and head back to Schluufy. The birthday goes great and the movie is over. Thank god. Where are you, Wiggles? We known you would never come up with that kind of vomit. Officer Beeples would have arrested you by now.

OVERALL RATING: 1/10

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This should not exist. It`s not the most horrific thing in the universe, but as a critic and a young adult, I REALLY don`t like it. Advantage: Wiggles. If you want a good children`s movie with songs, I`d suggest the new Disney movie `Frozen`. It`s much better than this and has probably one of the best animated soundtrack songs EVER in `Let It Go`. Just avoid it.

TGAMF Comparison: Teen Titans Vs. Teen Titans Go

(NOTE: As of December 2014, this article is invalid as The Critical Frog has recently thrown a rather large tantrum about how stupid Teen Titans Go has become and has thus has officially given up hope on it. We offer our humblest apologies and would now like to state that Teen Titans Go is the worst TV show ever and Frog will not confirm it's existence from here on out.)


A while ago, on Cartoon Network, there was a show about a group of teenage superheroes fighting crime and being teenagers. It was called Teen Titans. And it kicked ass.

Everything about the show was fantastic: the designs of the characters and villains, the plots, the animation, everything. It was the highlight of my week to sit down and watch the Titans battle villains after a long day of school. This is, quite literally, the first TV show I fell in love with. I used to watch the episodes whenever they came on. And when I couldn`t get them on TV, I watched them online. It was a big part of my childhood to watch the show. And when it was discontinued, I felt like I had lost something very dear to me. It was, in the most appropriate usage of the term, a great TV show.

A few years after Teen Titans was discontinued, I became aware that a spinoff show was going to be released: Teen Titans Go, a kid-friendly, comedy-based version of the cartoon. I was excited to hear that the heroes of my childhood would be on the tube once again, and eagerly stayed up to watch the premiere of the new series. With my Titans T-Shirt on and a slice of pizza in hand, I began to watch the new series unfold. And what did I see? Not the original Teen Titans, certainly.

There has been some argument among Teen Titans fans about the credibility of the new show. On one hand, the Titans ARE featured prominently and most of the time do maintain their personalities. On the other, there isn`t much fighting and most of the villains only make appearances in cameos. So as a fan of the original, what do I think?

I think it`s.....funny. Sometimes. Not particularly groundbreaking or original, but for what it is, amusing. I can compare it to the original in different aspects, but the original it isn`t. Let`s compare old and new and see the big differences.

CHARACTERS

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One of the biggest notable changes to the series was the change in the overall attitudes and appearances of the characters. A prime example of this is Robin, who went from a courageous if headstrong team leader, to a more comedic figure. Robin in the new series is more of a comic foil for the activities of the other Titans. Interestingly enough, the character that appears to have changed the least is Starfire, the alien with an amusing speech pattern. All the series appears to have given her is a more violent temper. Of course, the change that outrages most fans is the redesign of my favorite Titan, Raven. The original Raven is a dark and brooding figure who appears emotionless. The new Raven attempts to hide comedic emotions behind her hood and is seen playing with toy ponies (but as a brony, I`m not one to poke fun at that) and dressing the Titan`s pet in a princess costume. The characters have been clearly redesigned to fit a more comedic outlook on the superhero genre. While I enjoy some of the comedic character redesigns, I prefer the original Titans, with their more human personalities and traits. ADVANTAGE: ORIGINAL

VILLAINS

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There`s not much competition here, but I want to point it out anyways. While the original Teen Titans had an entertaining and delightful rouge`s gallery of villains, Teen Titans Go really fails on delivering cartoon versions of the baddies we know and love. My favorite villain, Slade, has yet to appear, the devious Brother Blood only has a 1-second appearance (being kicked in the face by Raven), and hilarious villain Control Freak only appears in a dream sequence. Only the Hive 5 and some stock villains (like Cinderblock and Dr. Light) remain. Ironically, the villains that would be appropriate to use in a comedy, like Control Freak, are barely seen or not at all. But for what they are, the reboots of the Hive 5 are somewhat enjoyable to look at, although their standards of evil have dropped: their latest dastardly plot was hanging around a "No Loitering" sign.  ADVANTAGE: ORIGINAL

PLOTS

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The plots are another important factor in the Titans saga: while the original Titans had a somewhat dark storyline chain (beginning with Slade and later going into Brother Blood and Trigon) interwoven with the occasional comedy story (a guy named Ding Dong Daddy challenges the Titans to a race), TTG goes for pure comedy, with quite a bit of it centered around Raven (I.E, Raven breaks her tooth, Raven takes off her cloak, Raven splits into 5 versions of herself). As a fan of her, I sort of enjoy these, but some of the plots are downright stupid in the new series (such as the `Burger Vs. Burrito` debate). On the other hand, when they work, they`re pretty funny (like the Dodgeball episode). Teen Titans Go plots are very hit or miss, as opposed to Teen Titans, which is all hit, all the time. ADVANTAGE: ORIGINAL

LOW POINT

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This category goes to whichever show had the most fantastic low point, i.e the strangest, tackiest, or overall worst episode. It`s not exactly one you WANT to win, per se, but it`s something.

Teen Titans- Mother Maye-Eye

This isn`t a BAD episode so much as surreal. In fact, I sort of like it. In it, a witch hypnotizes the Titans into believing that she is their mother (which would make the Robin-Starfire relationship very complicated) and keeps up the hypnosis with endless helpings of magical pie. After the Titans are dressed to look like wimps (complete with a bunny costume for Beast Boy and a poofy yellow dress for Raven), they get beaten up by the Hive 5 and return to the witch. Starfire suffers a bump to the head which allows her to see the witch for what she truly is, and we also learn she takes much more pie to be hypnotized (due to her 9 stomachs). She breaks everyone out of the hypnosis and stops Mother Maye-Eye before she can bake the Titans into a giant pie. It`s a funny idea, but it`s just so odd to see. The Titans acting like dependent 6-year olds and singing when it appears Starfire will get in trouble are interesting spectacles, but it all looks so out-of-style for the show and characters. Raven was not meant to have pigtails and wear yellow.

Teen Titans Go- Chill Out

It was about the time this episode aired (very recently, in fact) that I began to see what other people mean when they say Teen Titans Go utterly destroys the reputation of the original. Up until this episode, I really did try to enjoy the different direction the series was going in. The episode is about how Starfire convinces the Titans to lay down their weapons (or stop using their powers) and walk the path of peace. This involved taking away Cyborg and Beast Boy`s video game, making Robin befriend a venomous spider (which then bites him), and convincing Raven to unclench her fingers when she is meditating. These efforts succeed until they enter a battle with the Hive 5, where they almost give in to their violent natures, but then overcome the Hive with the power of peace and love (mainly giving them flowers and hugging them). This sounds ridiculous as it is, but then Starfire starts to sing a song about peace and love being the best way to solve problems (am I the only one who thinks that a girl with temper issues who can shoot eye lasers singing about peace and love is freaking ironic?). Eventually all the Titans and the Hive get in on the song, and without even a joke, the episode ends. This is definitely the low point in the series, and considering that earlier in the show Raven became a gold-costumed superhero who kicked things, that`s saying a lot. No contest. Teen Titans Go has the worst moment in Titans history.

ADVANTAGE: TEEN TITANS GO

OVERALL OPINIONS: 3/1

Yes, the original owns Teen Titans Go in every category except for low point. I mean, there`s no denying that the original Teen Titans was handled better, but I`m not saying that Teen Titans Go is terrible. Given. it has some bad moments, but otherwise it`s a decent little comedy and way to blow 15 minutes of your free time.

The issue with many complaints is that many people hold it up to the original, a show I consider to be a classic superhero cartoon. But what these people need to remember (as I`ve tried to tell my Skype friends) is that this isn`t TRYING to be the original. It`s a comed for younger audiences, with Titans jokes put in for fans of the original.  And while these are very hit-or-miss, you can`t compare it to a full-out action cartoon. If you look at it for what it is- a comedy show designed to poke fun at the superhero lifestyle of the Titans instead of an action cartoon, it`s tolerable. But it definitely isn`t the original.

The Critical Frog- Walking With Dinosaurs

(NOTE: The Critical Frog wrote this column on a cruise ship on January 1, 2014
after a particularly disappointing movie. Excuse me if it seems dated.)

For the past few days, I`ve been on a ship out in the Caribbean to celebrate the
New Year.  Boats are fun and all, but I really missed writing in the blog for
the last  week. So when I discovered the small island of Aruba had a small movie
theater, I decided to take a vacation from my vacation and watch a movie. But
since most of the films in theaters were either of no interest to me or not
showing until the ship left port, I was left with one main option: Walking With
Dinosaurs.

I had mixed feelings about this one. When I saw the original trailer, I
witnessed what looked like an amazing picture. I saw beautiful landscapes,
well-made dinosaurs and an amazing look at the times before man, with no voices
but the roars of the majestic beasts. But when I saw the second trailer, I began
to have second thoughts: the dinosaurs would have apparent streams of
consciousness and talk throughout the movie. I wasn`t too thrilled by the idea,
but still looked forward to the sights of the beautifully rendered CGI
Dinosaurs.  So in the spirit of the new year, I decided to give Walking With
Dinosaurs a shot.

I wish I hadn`t.

Yes, sadly, the masterful CGI and landscapes are offset by poor comedy and an
attempt to portray dinosaurs as more than they are. By watching this, I stand to
think I would have enjoyed myself a little more on the cruise ship, watching
Love Boat reruns and chugging down my 36th Coke of the week. Anyways, let`s go
ram the meteor of criticism into these dinos, shall we?

Surprisingly enough, the movie doesn`t start with dinosaurs at all. Instead, we
get a surly teenager texting while his paleontologist uncle and sister discuss
various things dinosaur-related. The uncle reveals a dinosaur tooth and goes to
a dig site with the sister, leaving the teen holding the tooth next to a car.
The teen is then mocked by a raven (not  of the Teen Titan variety, but that
would be amazing) who tells him to look deeper at the tooth because every fossil
has a story.  The bird then says he was around at the time of the fossil and
turns into  a primitive bird who begins to tell our main story. So the bird is a
time traveler in different forms like Doctor Who? Okay then.

The bird tells the story of Patchi, a baby dinosaur growing up in a nest.
Patchi is the runt of his litter, and his father is the leader of their dinosaur
herd.  After being pushed around by his brother Scowler, Patchi leaves the nest
and gets attacked by a Trodon (like a weird primitive turkey). The little dino
survives but loses a part of his head.

After he comes to the terms with his wound, he meets a girl names Juniper who
flips for the hole in his head (guess she likes men with scars). Patchi and his
bird (yeah, Doctor Bird is a main character) return to the place they met only
to learn 5 days later that Juniper`s herd has gone on a migration . On the
orders of the herd`s leader, they set out on the migration themselves

On this migration, Patchi and Scowler run, follow their father and poke fun at
each other in their despicable dinosaur consciousnesses. When the group enters a
forest, lightning strikes, one thing leads to another and the entire forest
catches on fire. Patchi and Scowler try to run away but are hounded by the
vicious Gorgosaurs that somehow are immune to fire. Patchi`s dad protects the
two from being eaten but at the cost of his own life. The brothers make it to
the rest of the herd, where they meet up with Juniper.

As the herd travels on (while being narrated by Doctor Bird and Patchi, who
somehow entered the future) , Patchi, Juniper and Scowler are shocked to see the
herd hunted by a pack of Gorgosaurs. The group slip on some rocks and end up
spiraling into a current. After a replay of Patchi`s dive by Doctor Bird to
prove a point, Film-style, the gang gets separated from the herd and must find
their own way to the feeding grounds.

Along the way, the gang runs into a pack of Edmontosaurs who appear to be on the
way to the feeding grounds. Juniper reveals that she has a hurt leg and Patchi
stays behind the pack to nurse her while Scowler heads off.

The two manage to arrive at the feeding grounds and hang out for a while. The
movie then cuts to a time lapse of the herd doing the same migration over and
over with the same animation repeated while Doctor Bird criticizes the movement.
Really, I should be enjoying the 4th wall jokes, but I think at this point
Deadpool, Pinkie Pie and Ferris Bueller would be having an intervention with
this movie. 4th wall jokes are very hit-or-miss, and this movie misses a lot
more than it hits. It` like the exact opposite of everyone else in that
intervention. When Pinkie and Ferris do it, they do it in moderation, and the
sheer coolness of Ferris and randomness of Pinkie Pie perfectly balance the 4th
wall. For Deadpool, well, his entire purpose in life is to utterly destroy the
4th wall, and that`s what he does in a humorous and unpredictable manner.
Walking With Dinosaurs is not Deadpool, however, so it really doesn't need to
act like him.

So time passes and Scowler challenges the leader of the herd to a headbutting
competition to determine who will lead. Scowler wins and reforms the herd to be
completely free of any fun. After Patchi saves the herd from dying at the hands
of ice, he tries to be a hero and challenge Scowler to a headbutting match.
Scowler destroys Patchi Zod-Style, leaving him crushed beneath a log (Kneel
Before Scowler! KNEEL!).

Patchi ultimately realizes he can`t beat Scowler ever and lays down to die
underneath the log. But Doctor Bird appears and gives Patchi hope and the
strength to continue by telling him to believe and die for something good (it
was about this time I simply gave up on the film). Patchi shakes off the tree
snd beats up many dinosaurs before finally catching up with the herd.

When Patchi sees the herd, Scowler is being attacked by a vicious pack of
Gorgosaurs.  Patchi decides to forget the past and save Scowler with help from
the entire herd. Scowler decides that Patchi would be better fo the herd and
names him the ruler. We then see that the teenager is still looking at the tooth
and goes to help his uncle. We see that the tooth is part of a Gorgosaurus
defeated in the fight and that it fits perfectly.....and the movie basically
ends.

So that`s Walking With Dinosaurs. Okay, I`ll give an honest opinion on this:

OVERALL RATING: 4/10
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Wow. This is the highest rating I`ve given so far, and it`s only for the
animation. The animation was beautiful, but again, the bad humor and characters
ruin it for everyone. Sometimes the humor DOES work (a line I actually like is
`Lumber, Patchi! Lumber like the wind!`), but most of the time, it seems like a
giant copy of `Dinosaur` to me. It`s not HORRIBLE, Per se, but it`s not at all
what I would like or expected from a movie with such great art. My advice is to
hit `mute` and just appreciate the beautiful landscapes and the lifelike
dinosaurs.

The Critcal Frog: Catwoman

(NOTE: I was on a boat for a week, and my dad has yet to send me the 2 and a half reviews I composed on the boat. As soon as I get those back, I`ll have 2 fresh reviews for you to enjoy, including a rare review of a recent movie. Please accept a review of Catwoman as my apology for being  late on my posts.) 

As a man who owns a lot of My Little Pony merchandise (2 T-Shirts, a tote bag, some trading cards and a herd of plastic ponies), I`m not exactly one to talk about gender roles, but it`s necessary to clear up some of this before I continue reviewing. Gender roles can work for a movie or against it- when the roles are played with, they can lead to some genuinely funny moments (George Of The Jungle`s male stereotype of George is actually pretty funny to watch). But if a film tries to rebel against the traditional gender roles, it can be a very hit-or-miss gambit. A very good example of this is the character Catwoman.

Voted 3rd hottest Batman villain by pretty much everybody (Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy had that category locked) , Catwoman was the writer of Batman`s opportunity to take a new leap into gender roles, casting Selena Kyle as anti-hero (and girlfriend to the big bat himself) Catwoman, a master thief who steals from the rich and gives to....well, herself. Catwoman was a great stride in Gender equality, showing that not all villainous women had to be revealing and/or sidekicks. And after her film debut in Batman Returns, people liked the idea of a Catwoman movie, and so it went into production. Tim Burton was in on it (and we all know how awesome he is), and Michelle Pfeiffer was supposed to reprise her original role as Catwoman from Batman Returns. But things happened, Burton dropped out and Pfeiffer was replaced with Halle Berry (who I actually think is a good actress when she wants to be). A new script was written, and in 2004, an abomination was born.

There are only a few bad superhero movies (Dr. Strange, Punisher, the original Captain America, Swamp-Thing....okay, there`s a crap ton of bad superhero movies) , but this one seems to stand out. On many reviewing sites it`s labeled the worst superhero movie ever. So to make up for being a careless little (BLEEP), I`m going to watch this and see if the rumors are true. Be afraid. Be VERY afraid.

(By the way, that`s 2 out of the 3 Batman girl villains butchered by the media (Poison Ivy got hers in Batman And Robin). This can only mean they`re coming for Harley Quinn next.....)

To get a big thing out of the way, NO, Catwoman`s secret identity is NOT Selena Kyle. Instead we get a girl named Patience Phillips (the unknown daughter of Phil Phillips), who works for the most dastardly company ever: cosmetics. The company heads are about to retire, but not before releasing a new skin care product called Beau-Line that can reverse aging (so basically it`s just another anti-aging cream like you see on TV). As Patience visits the products design center, she overhears the company heads discussing the harmful effects of the cosmetic, mainly that it can damage the skin without continuous application. The head`s wife (played by Sharon Stone) notices the snooping Patience and orders her guards to dispose of the girl. Patience tries to escape through a pipe, but the goons close it off and flood it, drowning her. Patience lies dead on the beach.

Well, this is off to a good start. Please tell us Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman then comes, sees her body, and goes to beat up the cosmetics companies with help from her scary boyfriend.

I wish. Instead, an Egyptian Mau Cat breathes new life into her (i`m not making that up) and she is reborn, presumably as Catwoman. Patience has various encounters with cat life, like eating tuna and flipping out over catnip (which is probably the low point in both Halle Berry`s career and this movie), until she meets a researcher named Ophelia. Ophelia explains to her that the cat was a vessel for the Egyptian goddess Bast and has chosen to rebirth her as a "catwoman", with superhuman reflexes and powers. When Patience asks Ophelia why nobody believes her theory, she blames it on "Male Academia". 

Okay, I need to complain about that. I can say that there are some gender issues in science, like men getting paid more than women. But you want to say that an Egyptian Goddess travels around through cats, seeking dead women to breathe into and empower with magic, and blame it on guys when your stupid theory is rejected? I`m pretty sure that ANY academia would be calling you out on that one.

The newly-crowned Catwoman finds the main scientist of the company murdered and is set to take the blame. She interrogates the male company head and he confesses that he is completely unaware of the side effects of the makeup. The police get onto Catwoman`s tail (see what I did there? Har, har) and she must escsape. Meanwhile, a police officer that she dates analyzes a note left by Catwoman and runs it through extreme testing (despite the fact that you have seen Patience write and it`s the exact same handwriting) to decipher Catwoman`s identity. Did I mention there`s a romantic subplot? Because there is.

Catwoman finds the female head of the company, Laurel, the mastermind behind it all. Catwoman is taken into custody as Laurel reveals that discontinuing use of the cosmetic would result in your skin melting off, but continued use makes it as hard as rock. Honestly, Laurel could easily make money by sending this product to the military as a new form of armor, but hey- she`s evil. 

Patience manages to escape and reaches Laurel in her study. Laurel and Catwoman get into a fight, which leads to the bad girl getting scratched in the face and knocked out the window (so either Catwoman`s claws are that hard, or Laurel`s cosmetic was a giant letdown). Her armor makeup disentegrates her skin, leading her to fall to her death. Catwoman is cleared of all murder obligations, but decides to continue her new life on the lam as Catwoman.

And that`s Catwoman. A girl-empowerment film that ended in a fiery explosion of disaster. Do I think it`s the worst superhero movie ever, like so many before me?

OVERALL RATING: 2/10

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No, actually. Don`t get me wrong, it`s bad. It`s REALLY BAD. The plot is dumb, the characters are bland, the writing and effects are terrible, and it deserves every bit of hate it gets. But there ARE worse superhero movies. I think Halle Berry really tried to do her best, but the writers dragged down what could have been a great character development story. If Tim Burton was still in on it, then what would happen, I wonder?

Well, That`s it. I`ve reviewed the SECOND worst Superhero Movie of all time. And as for the first- come on, you all know what it is. Do I really have to say it?

*sigh* fine. Batman And Robin. Freaking Batman And Robin. No, I`m not reviewing it anytime soon. Maybe someday. A day when I truly wish to put myself to the ultimate test, to stare into the eyes of Death itself. Or when I feel like it. Either-or.

The Critical Frog: Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer

It`s finally December, which means it`s time for my favorite holiday of the year: CHRISTMAS! I freaking LOVE Christmas- it`s my favorite time of the year! About this time I feel overcome by the holiday spirit and feel the need to be nice to everybody, against my critical personality for the sheer spirit of Holiday Cheer. That even includes being nice to people I normally hate- through the sheer power of Christmas, I now only dislike them this month! Just goes to show you the power the holidays have over people. But this is a movie blog and you come for the criticism, so I`d like tot alk about another great part of Christmas: the holiday specials.

Lots of TV shows do a Christmas special at one time or another, and some even figure out how to tie in some story: Adventure ime took the opportunity to reveal a shocking backstory to a villain, Billy And Mandy used theirs to burn down a mall and fight vampires, Teen Titans Go showed us a typical Christmas for the Titans (complete with presents, Christmas dinner, and a reactor explosion), and even My Little Pony gave us a little insight into the history of Equestria. And then there are the holiday movies that the TV channels play on repeat. These are cute a few times, but after a while, they start to get REALLY annoying. Case in point, Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer.

This movie was based on the somehow popular but extremely catchy/annoying song of the same name. While it`s funny the first time around, it gets repetitive with time. The same with the movie. But it`s a Christmas staple by now, right? So how could I possibly dislike it? Kick back, grab a couple of candy canes (or as Starfire puts it, striped hooks) and some cocoa and find out.

The movie opens up in the Spankenheimer General Store in the middle of Cityville (really? Cityville? That`s worse than Townsville from the Powerpuff Girls), where Jake Spankenheimer (I`d like to spank the heimer of whoever came up with that dumb name) tells us about his Grandma and how awesome she is: she reads to kids in an elf costume, takes good care of her family, and really, really loves Christmas. These seem like typical Grandma things to do, but Jake seems to confuse them with acts of god. Jake is approached by a businessman, Austin Bucks (with a last name like that, you could have just named him `Lotsa`) with a proposition for Grandma. But she is busy reading, and Austin decides he too needs to wear a costume. He dons a troll outfit (that still looks more legitimate than the costumes from Troll 2, trolls or not) and talks with her when the book is done.

Austin wants to make Christmas easier for people by using his funds on expensive technology (which is a legitimate business decision when you think about it) and thinks Spankenheimer`s General Store is a perfect place to start. Grandma, clearly against big business, refuses. But the offer delights Cousin Mel Spankenheimer, a woman who fits every greedy villain stereotype ever existing, who wants to make a lot of money off of Mr. Bucks and the general store. Jake and his sister Daphne debate the existence of Santa Claus as Mel hatches an evil plan: she will sabotage Grandma`s apparently famous Killer Fruitcake with a substance that will make it uneatable, thus dropping Grandma`s sales and forcing her to sell the store (what about all the other things in the store? Just because she`s greedy doesn`t mean she`s smart). Grandma then takes the fruitcake home, having not taken her medications (like in the song). As Grandma Spankenheimer exits the house, Santa Claus comes crashing down and, you guessed it, accidentally runs over Grandma. Grandma disappears, and Cousin Mel finds a letter apologizing for the situation. Mel, being a greedy person, hides the important letter.

So about a year passes since the trampling of Grandma and everyone appears to be sad. Cousin Mel has a new evil plan and tricks the old senile Grandpa Spankenheimer into giving her control of the store. She attempts to sell the store to Austin Bucks, but Jake`s begging makes him feel guilty and give Jake another week to find Grandma. Jake decides to send Mr. Claus an E-Mail (apparently Santa has a public Email address) and encloses a picture of Grandma that he brings up by typing a few keys, which leads me to believe that in this world, there is a Grandma emoticon. Shortly after, Sant`s head elf, Jingles, arrives and offers to help Jake figure out what happened to his grandmother. Jake, clearly unfamiliar with the concept of stranger danger, happily agrees. Thankfully, Jingles is an actual elf and not a pedophile, so he has Jake hitch a ride on Santa`s sleigh and head to the North Pole to discover the fate of Grandma.

While they take a sleigh ride, a song plays about how people need to learn to share while Santa considers not having a Christmas. I kind of like the song because it explores a human emotion of greed and opinions on it, and how the poor are grateful for anything while the rich whine about not enough. It sort of works to play with the opinions of Mel and Jake, but I`d actually like the song a little more if it wasn`t in this movie. It`s a nice song.....what is it doing in this crapfest? Guess we`ll never know.

Jake and Jingles reach the North Pole, where it is revealed that Grandma is not dead- she has been in the North Pole all this time, and Santa has been taking care of her (wonder what Mrs. Claus thinks of that). Jake approached his grandma but unfortunately she has contacted amnesia due to the hooves in her face. Jake takes her back to Cityville (you know, I`m pretty sure there was a place in Powerpuff Girls called Cityville) and explains what happened, and the group works to thwart Cousin Mel`s evil plans. They meet Mel and her agent, I.M Slime (Seriously), who hatch a plan to kidnap Grandma. After Jake explains the situation to Mr. Bucks, they discover Grandma has gone missing, Mel and Slime plot to sue Santa, figuring he must have a lot of money (apparently they don`t understand the Santa mythos) on the charges of "Sleighhicular Negligence" (a kid-friendly version of Vehicular Homicide) while singing a terrible samba/conga song about suing the previously mentioned Mr. Claus. This song is short, but it`s really annoying. If I wanted to listen to Samba, I would have gone for "Day of The Dead". At least that had some actual Mexican culture references.

Jake discovers the cabin while the girls are away, rescues Grandma and finds the note Santa left a year earlier, along with an interesting find: a bottle of "Reindeer Nip", that was smuggled into Grandma`s fruitcake to get the reindeer to trample her (so Cousin Mel really based her plan on the existence and exact timing of Santa?). Jake manages to feed Grandma some of her fruitcake, which triggers her memories and cures her amnesia. But Mel and Slime prepare to sue Saint Nick, so they all head off to court. Jake`s reasoning proves triumphant, as he is able to force Mel to confess to her evil deeds. Mel is sent to jail and Grandma gains control of her store once more.

After the trial, Austin Bucks approaches Grandma. Touched by the Christmas spirit exerted by the family, he offers to ditch the idea of faster Christmas and has a different idea: If Grandma will accept it, Austin will open up a chain of Spankenheimer`s General Stores around the country (again, with all the business it gets, it`s a solid business decision). Grandma happily accepts the deal, but as she exits the scene, she makes a mistake and picks up the tainted cake, causing Rudolph to trample her yet again. But this time, Grandma doesn`t seem to be hurt (despite being trampled by 8 reindeer as opposed to 1) and brushes herself off. Santa says "Feliz Navidad" and flies off into the distance.

If you`re a speed-reader like me, you`re probably not even finished with your first striped hook, and you certainly haven`t finished your cocoa, if you have either of those with you right now. But besides that, what do I think of this?

OVERALL RATING: 3/10

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I guess it isn`t the most terrible thing I`ve seen. Don`t get me wrong, I don`t like it. It`s kind of annoying, Jake is a whiner, and most of the songs are pretty bad. Plus, I don`t like how they sort of portrayed Bucks as a bad guy: he was just doing business. As somewhat of a businessman myself, I can understand his motivation: by getting Christmas shopping over with via fast delivery, it makes it that much easier to prepare for the holiday so you have more time with your family. Perhaps Bucks understood that, and Jake did not. Either way, they could have just put it somewhere else. The character of the villain (she isn`t funny of likable in any way) also contributes to this film`s downfall, but overall it`s just a sketchy, trashy, standard-issue Christmas Special.

Why this song needed a backstory is beyond me, but it doesn`t do anything for the gimmick. Get me away from this film and point me towards 34th Street, please. I heard there`s a miracle happening there.

The Critical Frog: In Search Of The Wow Wow Wibble Woggle Wazzie Woodle Woo

Wait, what did I just type?

So as people who follow my cousin Don Megalon on Youtube are aware, every year we have a showdown in our official family game Territory War, because our idea of family togetherness is to blow each other`s tiny stick people up with grenades, and every year we enact a penalty for the unfortunate loser, such as playing a game or watching a movie we wouldn`t normally play (my punishment if I lost was to play Slender last year). This year, my loss results in me playing a horror game of my cousin`s choice that I do not wish to mention, and I can`t possibly allow myself to play that. So I intend on crushing my cousin this year as I did last (our original confrontation can be found at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6NK1CIBW1l8&feature=c4-overview&list=UUeml9T_x0VQql_1WPF6AHFg)
. But why am I telling whoever reads this my personal holiday agenda when you come for the movie reviews?

Well, it just so happens that he has enacted a ban on little kid`s games (which happened to be his punishment last time we fought), so in accordance with my new blog, I`m forcing him to watch a terrible movie upon his defeat. And that terrible movie just so happens to be this...... thing. I`m not going to type that stupid title again, so let`s just call it... The 7 W`s.

This 45-minute sing-along appeared in 1985 (probably after alarmingly large doses of LSD) directed by and starring actor Tim Noah, who has aparrently won Emmys that are not mentioned on his IMDB page (probably because they`re regional Emmys) for songwriting and acting. Why he would want to make a drug-fueled landscape of songs, germs, a troll and Hitler is beyond me, but somehow he felt the need for it, and so In Search Of The Overly Long Title was born.

The flick really doesn`t have a story, so I guess I can just talk about the songs. I guess it has SOME, but not a ton. Anyway, let`s continue with the review, and Cousin, if you`re reading this, you know what to expect when I thrash you once again.

The movie starts when Tim Noah, dressed like Marty Mcfly for some reason, enters his purely white room and turns on his radio. The radio plays generic pop music as Tim dances, somehow managing to be the whitest thing in a completely white room. All of the songs and ads he hears on the radio have something to do with the word "Closet", and Tim begins to get suspicious. He approaches his closet armed with a hockey stick but finds nothing there, but the closet makes noises compelling Tim to check it again. When he does, the closet emits a loud sucking sound and sucks Tim into the closet (aparrently the movie went into Poltergeist territory here) and emerges wearing a jetpack and spaceman uniform as he rockets around his room while singing a song I`ve chosen to call "Tim Noah Doing Whatever He Wants". I say this because the first few lines are about pointless things Tim Noah does on a daily basis. But maybe they represent something that I`m not seeing. Maybe the thought of resisting conformity is clearly represented as... humming while Tim Noah chews his peanut butter sandwich, or making faces in the toaster. Or it may just be a stupid song.

While the song plays, we get some shots of space with toasters and sandwiches floating in the air, along with a floating closet. From the closet emerges a man with an afro in what looks like a military outfit, who I shall refer to as "Jewfro Hitler" (who apparently is Tim`s dad). Why Jewfro Hitler is in a children`s movie is beyond me, but the strangest part is that after his appearance, another Tim is taking a bath, and who should appear rising out of the tub but Jewfro Hitler, now sporting a sailor hat. These two never come up again, so I really don`t see the point.

After Tim sings about his imagination (so he imagines Hitler and a naked man in a bathtub with an inflatable shark?), he exits the closet and hears a phone ringing. Tim picks up every object in the room that he confuses with a phone, until a toy dinosaur rolls towards our hero. The dinosaur, which is revealed to be Tim`s imagination, tells Tim that his "mission" is to find the.... well, the thing in the title. The dinosaur then self-destructs, prompting Tim to sing another song, this time about how clueless he is about the.. thingy. Interestingly enough, he doesn`t actually say the entire name of the thing during the song: NOT EVEN THE HOST WANTS TO SAY IT. It`s too condescending even for the host!

Tim`s Imagination guides him to the Jungle, where he dons a safari outfit (a gorilla under his toy chest removes Tim`s pants to reveal jungle shorts for some reason) and sings multiple songs. The first is about what Tim thinks he would do if he were different animals. But you`re NOT all these different animals, Tim. You are a grown man. Act like one.

The second song has Tim stripping down to a toga (which nobody can convince me isn`t a man version of the Technicolor Tutu from Dragon Quest) and singing about how he wants to go live in the jungle, doing whatever he wants and raising a family of monkeys. As much as I want to make a joke about how Tim would have to procreate with a monkey, later in the song he replaces "monkey" with "rhino" for a family, opening himself up to an even worse joke. Picture it: Tim  Noah attempting to make love to a RHINOCEROUS. Much hilarity would ensue from that.

Tim is called back to reality by his mother, asking Tim how his lunchbox got smashed. Tim tells her that it got trampled by circus elephants, and somehow, his mother believes it (aparrently the stupidity coconut doesn`t fall far from the tree). But on his bed, Tim confides a secret in us: it was NOT  a marauding band of elephants, but by *gasp* the school bully. Now what was wrong with telling his mom that? She could probably tell the school about the problem or something, but I guess Tim decided it would be easier to sing about it. He sings about the bully, who is representes by two giant legs. But this may explain it: Tim, if you`re building giant replicas of the bully and singing about him, it`s kind of weird. And considering your dad is Jewfro Hitler, you don`t have that much street cred. As we see him attempt to fight back, you wonder if he`s not being bullied- Maybe he`s just getting beat up because he`s attacking the tall kid`s ankles for no good reason,. Also, I`m pretty sure a 30-something man doesn`t get picked on by a school bully.

Tim then gets depressed when he ultimately realizes he sucks at life, and sings a song (after all, we`ve only gone a few seconds without one) about being depressed and asking a tree what it sees (obviously the answer is, "a manchild talking to a cardboard cutout of a tree"). Tim`s imagination then randomly mocks Tim about giving up before getting to the good part. Wow, even the movie knows so far it`s been crappy.

But aparrently Tim`s imagination`s idea of 'the good part' is giving Tim magic powers. Most people would say giving a man child like Tim magic is a bad idea, but I recommend it because we all know he`d end up killing himself with them. Tim dons a wizard outfit and sings about his new magic powers. Tim also gets a giant wand that doubles as a rocket launcher (I reccomend this too, you know he`d kill himself somehow).

Tim complains to his Imagination that his room is messed up (it WAS you who messed up the room) and decides to be alone. Tim tells his imagination to screw off and decides to sing a song about the morning (even though it`s nighttime) and do a terrible impersonation of Charlie Chaplin.But in the middle of his song, the room goes dark and enters a part of the show I like to call the LSD part.

In the deepest layer of children`s entertainment hell, Tim sings about an encounter between troll Musty Moldy Melvin and heap of leaves Greasy Grimy Gertie, who decide to get together and dance for some reason. They are joined by critters straight from your nightmares. In all honesty, all of these things are creepy. I probably shouldn`t be watching this bit at 11:00 PM, but there you go. Tim gets mobbed by the creatures and winds up in a void.

In this void, he feels alone and decides to sing a song about the importance of friends that wouldn`t be out of place in My Little Pony and makes up with his imagination. They decide to continue the search for the.... thing, but Tim makes an astonishing discovery: The WWWWWWW is actually Tim and his imagination! Wait, WHAT?

I`m extremely disappointed with this: they promised us a thingy, and we didn`t even get that after 40+ minutes of musical randomness. This movie should have been called "In Search Of Myself" or something. Anything to change that god awful title.

Tim and his imagination reconcile and sing about how they are the WWWWWWW, as Tim goes downstairs and says the last lines of the film: "Let`s see.... what can I do with mashed potatoes?"

Um.... you can eat them. PLEASE just eat them.

After these fabled words, the door to Tim`s room mysteriously closes on it`s own, in a creepy ending to the movie.

So that was In Search Of The Wow Wow Wibble Woggle Wazzie Woodle Woo (DANGIT! I TYPED IT!). What do I think?

OVERALL RATING: 2.5/10
Well, yeah, I don`t like it. Tim is annoying, the scenery is poorly done, and some of the songs are bad. But on the other hand, the other songs are catchy, and it`s really hard to hate a movie that`s so joyful-minded: the movie displays NO cynicism whatsoever and is simply meant to appeal to kids. It`s very difficult to say the movie goes out of it`s way to be not cynical or sarcastic. I like this about the movie, but the rest sucks.

(UPDATE: Don has LOST out Territory war versus match. His punishment is now on Youtube, as is the showdown. Search `TGAMF and Don Riff`.)

The Critical Frog: Frog`s 7 Favorite Animated Shows

Kids see a lot of cartoons growing up. That`s just another part of being a kid. Animated cartoons are commonly seen by children on Saturday mornings- TV not meant to tell a lot of story so as to confuse people, but not meant to be a random collection of jokes either (okay, quite a few children`s shows are random collections of jokes). I remember watching my favorite cartoons all the time, and for good reason: I was a critic even when I was little, and these shows had a great balance of story and comedy- enough to entertain while also making sense. And for my first countdown list, I want to reflect on these shows and count out my 7 favorites. Note that some of these shows may come off as recent, but this is not just my favorites from when I was a kid. This is my favorite animated shows of all my life, and some will be recent while others are dated. Please note I dd not include the more adult cartoons (like Family Guy, The Simpsons, or South Park) because not only are they not meant to appeal to children as much, I really don`t find Family Guy or South Park that funny.

7: Codename: Kids Next Door

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Oh, man, this show was entertaining. Already off to a strong start.

Fo those of you who never watched it, this was a highly creative and clever show about a secret organization of children (The Kids Next Door) out to stop the plans of Adults threatening the common child activity. Every time I watched this, I saw very entertaining situations and highly diverse and interlocked characters.

The characters are what make the show work: you have all of the stereotypical kinds of kids (the girly-girl, the angry athletic dude, the smart guy, etc.) working and living together, while trying to balance their normal lives as children. The main characters, known in the organization as Numbuhs 1-5 (yes, that`s how it`s spelled in the show), juggle their secret agent jobs with regular family tasks, such as eating as a family, wearing a tie, or "Take Your Daughter To Work Day" (which Australian macho-man Numbah 4 is hilariously dragged into). Just this balance makes things entertaining, but the show has even more hilarity in the form of the villains.

All of the villains in the show are directly related to some form of adult work or kid problem, such as The Common Cold (a guy with constant allergies who shoots boogers and has a giant machine called the Flu Bug), Grandmother Stuffum (who is convinced every kid in the world is too skinny and wants to fatten them up), and Knightbrace (like Batman if he was a dentist). My personal favorite is the Toiletnator, who commits toilet-related crimes and can "flush" large bodies of water, such as the Grand Canyon (he did that once). Also worth mentioning are the great machines designed by the K.N.D and their adversaries: the machines are brilliantly created with planks, cords, and random household equipment (Girly-girl Numbah 3`s weapon is literally a teddy bear bazooka), and all look somewhat real while maintaining a fictional quality. Overall, it was entertaining, clever, and well-done.

FAVORITE EPISODE:

I`d have to either go with the one where The Adults take over the K.N.D hideout (and then get beaten up by The Toiletnator who thinks they are the kids in disguise), or the supermarket episode, where all the heroes and villains fight over the last box of Rainbow Munchies cereal. Take your pick.

6: Courage The Cowardly Dog

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What I really like about this show is the contrast it is to other shows on the list, specifically number 5. The dark humor and sometimes frightening images really worked to push what you can and cannot put in a cartoon to an extent that you can`t help but watch, out of either interest or pure horror.

The show is about Courage, a little pink dog who lives in the middle of the town of Nowhere with Muriel and Eustace Bagg, his senile owners. Strange things occur almost daily for the family, and it`s all up to Courage to save the old couple from dangers like an alien chicken, a clan of frogs (I can honestly say I had nothing to do with that), a crocodile puppeteer, and most notably, King Ramses (more on him later). The story, while somewhat repetitive, mixes frightning images and dark storylines with occasional humor in a good balance.

The frightening images and stories are what make the show. All humans have a desire to be scared (I enjoy a good scare sometimes, but mainly I`m a wuss), and this show gives you your fill: corpses, zombies, mutants and lunatics abound. Where my number 5 is happy and bright, this is dark and grimy. It really makes you feel terrified and entertained at the same time.

FAVORITE EPISODE:

This is a toughie. I really can`t pick the one I enjoyed the most, so I`m going to go with the two that scared me the most: The Great Fusili and King Ramses` Curse. There is some debate over which one is scarier, but that`s for another day. King Ramses himself is so interestingly made- he appears to stand out as a claymation-like figure in the animated world- that makes his appearance so terrifying. And that Voice, that awful voice.....

Fusili is definitely scarier if you`re older: Fusili turns the old couple into puppets, and he gets turned into a puppet by saying magic words (since Fusili said them on himself, it`s somewhat like suicide). After that, we see Courage at home-  like normal, but the couple are still puppets and Courage is playing with them. Think of it this way, now that you`re older- Eustace and Muriel are DEAD inside that puppet and Courage is PLAYING WITH THEIR CORPSES. Enough said for now.

(NOTE: Frog anticipates every bit of hate he will get for the next entry. Hate is expected and will be promptly dismissed as such. Thank you for your criticism, and I will remember it as I happily choose to ignore it.)

With that out of the way......

5: My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic

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I couldn`t resist.

I know that I`m going to get a LOT of crap for this, but let me just say again that I do not care. It`s a TV show that I enjoy and want to discuss. Got a problem? Don`t watch it. This isn`t exactly rocket science, people.

I know that there`s this huge argument in the world about the topic of "Bronies", male fans of MLP (yes, in advance, I am a brony), but that`s for another post. What I`m talking about here is the show itself, not the fandom, and let me say that it`s not exactly what people expect from a show designed to sell toys.

To be honest, the show is actually EXTREMELY well-made: the animation works well, the characters interlock with each other nicely, the morals are relevant and the episodes are entertaining. Designed by the same mind that came up with The Powerpuff Girls and Foster`s Home for Imaginary Friends, it`s a well-crafted series. The plot, about unicorn Twilight Sparkle (voiced by the same person who played Harley Quinn, Raven and Flashwing (my favorite Skylander), so she`s 4 for 4) and her friends having adventures and learning morals about friendship and goodness, is extremely popular due to the show`s planning and content.

As a fan of the show, I can understand why it gets such a good reputation. I really just see it as a very good show The characters are what make the show, and each of them is so diverse that when they interact, it`s almost always hilarious (most notably the evil lunatic hanging out with the kind and gentle pony- and getting bossed around by her), but like many shows on the list, the villians are what make this stand out: almost all of them are either threatening or hilarious (except Gilda The Griffon, but screw Gilda). Everything just goes so well together that you can`t help cracking a smile.

FAVORITE EPISODE:

Definitely the season 2 finale, "A Canterlot Wedding". Everything in this episode is great, from the planning to the interaction, and not to mention the musical numbers. The wedding episode showcases everything the show does right, and for bronies and random people alike, it`s a real treat to watch. But besides that? Probably any episode involving the chaotic bad guy Discord. Just watching this guy is hilarious, and the fact that he played another reality-twisting crazy person (as Q from Star Trek) just adds to the lunacy.

4: The Grim Adventures Of Billy And Mandy

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And here we arrive at the big contenders. The shows I really loved watching when I was little, and may still watch today (I watched Billy and Mandy very recently in fact), and we`re kicking it off with a darker entry.

Where Courage was full-out scay most of the time (that or tear-jerking), Billy and Mandy sacrificed most of that fear for comedic effect while still retaining a gothic nature to extremely good results.

The show, about two kids who befriend the Grim Reaper, was extremely popular and got great reviews due to it`s contrasting elements (goth+comedy) and constant useage of the 4th wall. The show did a great job of renovating old beliefs of monsters and traditions, such as Dracula and the Boogeyman, and the two contrasting children and the aparrent friendship between them fuses in suprisingly well with the story. The wide array of characters also increases the hilarity of the story- honestly, it reminds me of Adventure Time nowadays- and the result of all this put together is pure dark comedy.

FAVORITE EPISODE:

There`s absolutely no contest: I`m going straight to Little Rock Of Horrors, where idiot Billy befriends a rock that comes alive and eats people`s brains. If you`ve ever seen any Billy and Mandy, this is the one you remember, and for one reason (the same reason that makes it my favorite): That awesome song, "Brains!", sung by Aurielo Voltaire, one of my favorite musicians. The haunting beat of the original song combines well with the gothic imagery and leads to a generally ass-kicking  sequence. Ironically, not knowing who Voltaire was at the time, I still loved the song, but now that I`m familiar with his other work, it makes me love the episode even more.

3: Batman: The Animated Series

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This is easily the best Batman-related thing ever, and anyone who has seen this show is probably going to agree with me. In fact, I regard it as one of the best cartoons ever, as well as one of the best superhero cartoons (there's one more, and it's a big one) of all time.

Much like other shows on the list, this show mixed dark elements with comedy and story to create a great series. Bruce Wayne (Batman) is realistic as he acts as a superhero and billionaire, flirts with Selina Kyle (Catwoman), and beats people up. The realism of Bruce makes this series fantastic already, but much like everything else, it's the villains that make this work.

The classic Batman villains, like the Joker, are brilliantly redesigned while maintaining their original personalities in an act of classic animation, while new villains help balance the mix. Most notable of these new villains is the Joker's sidekick Harley Quinn, but many greats appear in the series. This show also adds back stories to some older villains like Mr. freeze (this backstory was so well-received that everyone uses it, even that crappy Batman And Robin movie). The blending of old and new, the gothic atmosphere, and the action mixed with quirky comedic moments male this Batman stand out beyond all the rest.

FAVORITE EPISODE:

Tricky one. I love a lot of the episodes, but I`m going for a certain category: the episodes that focus on villains, wether it be the origin story or a little adventure. Personal favorites include the episodes where The Penguin and Harley Quinn try to reform and enter society, or the dark and sad origin of Mr. Freeze, or even the one where Batman has to team up with Harley to stop Joker. But I`d have to say my favorite of the category is "Almost Got `Em", where Joker, Penguin, Poison Ivy, Two-Face, and Killer Croc play cards and swap stories about how they almost whacked the bat. The villains acting like any old poker crew is hilarious, and the stories are entertaining. Just a little insight into a villain`s social life can be a great episode of a great series, if you know how to do it.

Speaking of Superheroes......

2: Teen Titans (The original, not the new cartoon version)

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Teen Titans holds a special place in my heart as the first show I became a true fan of. I grew up with this show, and it`s never left me. I remember sitting on the couch when I was little and watching the Titans being the highlight of my week. That`s right, this is the first show The Critical Frog ever loved.

Even though it stopped airing on Cartoon Network, I remember the show fondly: a band of teenage superheroes band together to beat up evil and do teenager things. It seems like a simple premise, but keep in mind Batman was the same, but with... well, Batman.

This show was PHENOMENAL in my opinion: it had a dark, underlining story that was brilliantly woven under memorable villains and characters. The characters themselves were extremely likable and went together well (most notably the "friendship" between the two female Titans).

But what really made the series work was the sub-plots and how they interwined: every character has something they hide or are worried about, and all of them directly tie in with the story at one point or another. While even the stronger Titans have weaknesses (half-robot Cyborg`s machine tendencies clash with his hopes for a normal life, and a main villain takes advantage of that), it`s nice to see everyone with flaws, unlike some absolutely perfect superheroes like Superman ]. My favorite subplot is the one of my favorite character, dark and gloomy Raven, who ends up being the key to unleashing a giant demon on the universe (who turns out to be, surprise, a main villain).

And yet again, the series gets a lot of help from the villains, which may or may not be the best part. Teen Titans balances dark and serious plots and enemies with laughable moments. For every serious villain you had someone laughable. The surprising realism of some villains (especially prime antagonist Slade, who has no powers and can`t defeat any titan in combat except for Robin) mixes together well with the joke villains. The joke villains, such as a witch who brainwashes people with pies (and gets the goth girl into a bright yellow dress, an act I will forever commend her for), a magician with the voice of The Ice King from Adventure Time (he has the skin to match), a cranky British guy who once turned New York into a replica of England, and a fat nerd, Control Freak, with absolutely no powers but being somewhat intelligent (and yet he somehow almost beats the Titans). I love every villain in the bunch, and that makes the show that much better.

The balance of the show is amazing, and while things get a little confusing at the end, it`s still a great show. The new cartoon`s okay too, but that`s for another time. Teen Titans rules. Enough said.

FAVORITE EPISODE:

This is probably one of the most difficult ones to pick. I really like all the gag episodes, the ones that just make you laugh and don`t do much for the story. Personal favorites include "Revolution", where Mad Mod (the cranky British guy) turns the city into a replica of England and makes a lot of English comedy references (there`s even a Monty Python and the Holy Grail joke), or "Don`t Touch That Dial", where Control Freak sucks everyone into the world of TV, which of course is chock-full of TV show-themed jokes (at one point Raven literally yells to the viewer, "THIS STUFF ROTS YOUR BRAIN!"). But I think the one I really love is "Bunny Raven, or... How to Make a Titanimal Disappear" (yes, that is the title) where the evil magician turns Raven into a rabbit and sucks all the Titans into his magic hat. The other Titans turn into animals (and a lamp) and what follows is pure, unbridled comedy. The episode sacrifices story just for the sake of screwing around, and what follows is brilliantly hilarious. There`s even a Statler and Waldorf (those guys from The Muppets who shout insults) cameo. The whole thing is just perfect in it`s lunacy. It`s brilliant. Just brilliant. But this may make you wonder- if the show I`m saying is so awesome is only 2nd, then what the heck came in 1st?

1:Avatar: The Last Airbender

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The answer is this. THIS came in first.

For those of you who don`t know what this is, remember that crappy M. Night Shyamalan movie "The Last Airbender"? Yeah, that was terrible. Just about one of the worst pieces of cinema ever, But the series it was based on is this. And it`s absolutely beautiful.

I mean, WOW. Whoever made this series really outdid themselves. I really love this show, and every part of it seems to be doing something right: the characters are great, the story is well-made and episodic, and the comedy balances with the seriousness much like Teen Titans. If the Titans made any mistakes, this is what corrected them and added a heaving dose of awesome.

The show is about Aang, the last Airbender (a guy who has control over air) as he gains allies and goes on a quest to defeat the Fire Lord Ozai before he gains  ultimate power, is somewhat straightforward but complex: Aang must learn how to control each of the 4 elements (Water, Earth and Fire in addition to his Air) before fighting the king of fire. Watching the character grow and change as he controls the elements and copes with the fact that he is the last of his people is a nice change from most shows, and the supporting cast balances the character well.

The supporting cast includes Katara, a teenage girl with motherly tendencies who controls water, Toph, a blind girl who controls earth by feeling it with her other senses, Sokka, Katara`s brother who has no powers but being hilariously derailing, and eventually Zuko, the prince of fire. When the other characters interact, it leads to intense and sometimes hilarious setups as they survive daily life.

Also important are the few villains, such as Zuko`s crazy sister who can control lightning (since it`s somehow a form of fire) or the fire lord himself. But in a rare case on this list, the heroes are more interesting than the villains. These characters are so three-dimensional that you wish they were real.

Everything about this show is nearly perfect. Every little bit. I firmly believe that this is the best cartoon in the history of cartoons. If I leave this post with any advice, it`s to watch this. Heck, go watch all 3 seasons. I guarantee you won`t be disappointed. It`s a somewhat shorter series than say, Teen Titans or My Little Pony (which has just begun it`s 4th season), it`s 3 seasons of pure, unbridled greatness.

FAVORITE EPISODE:

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This is by far the hardest, but I like the episodes that diverge from the main story and expand on the daily lives of the characters (like Toph using her earth powers to cheat at gambling to get money). As mentioned in the Batman discussion, a look into the minor character`s lives is great when you do it well, and it`s all done well here. Episodes I really like are when Katara learns of a forbidden art, bloodbending (since blood is water, technically) or the random travels of Aang`s flying bison steed Appa (there`s an entire episode of him flying around doing whatever he pleases). But my favorite is the one (I forget the name) that shows a day in town for each of the characters: Katara and Toph go do girl things, Aang tries to use his powers, and in the finest moment, Sokka gets into a haiku contest with some geishas and loses horribly. It`s a Tour De Brilliance, much like the entire show.

So that`s the TV shows I love. I`ll probably write more about them (especially the Teen Titans VS. Teen Titans Go and Ramses Vs. Fusili debates), but this is all for now.