We've all heard of what happens when other countries attempt their takes on popular American culture. Usually they'll take the source material and throw it into a blender of the nation's typical fare and wind up with something below par. This can range from absurdly awesome (The Japanese Spider-Man has a giant robot) to unappealing and bizarre (The Man Who Saved The World literally recycles clips from Star Wars). But a few of these have an excuse: usually the country in question is underfed in the first place, and spending tons on a film would only be as good as burning the cash. This is where Nabwana Igg comes in.
Igg lives in Uganda, one of the currently poorest countries in the world. People there don't have the money needed to produce and finance a full-blown spectacle. Igg, armed only with 200 dollars and a small crew, managed to complete an hour-long film complete with special effects and action. Even if I were to talk down on the film, the budget and it's result alone is astounding.
I don't care for this film as much as I respect it's cast and crew. Working on a budget can be troublesome, especially in a poor and needy country. But Igg pulled through, and now we witness his first feature film in all of it's messy glory.
For a cheaply-shot film, the effects are decent, although the helicopters are less than convincing. The fight scenes are surprisingly well-done. Nothing Jackie-Chan like, but alright.
The film also introduces a feature new to film: the Video Joker. The Video Joker functions similar to one of the cast members of Mystery Science Theater 3000, poking fun at the film and characters, but permanently placed in the film. It's alright, definitely interesting, but it does take some of the tone out of the heavier and more violent scenes.
While I definitely wouldn't go as far as to call it a good film, or even a disaster, it's a special kind of movie, that I'll admit. It takes a lot of determination to follow a dream on a short budget, and Igg did it the best he could. I'm looking forward to whatever he can do with more funds. This is already looking better than some of the films I've reviewed, and for less than 1/10000th of the price.
OVERALL RATING: 6/10
------------
Yes, this film gets a mediocre rating. As lackluster and typical as the plot is, and as laughable as some of the effects are, the budget was stretched and worked to create something alright. It's not a film I like as much as admire from the crew's dedication and the results of limited funding.
If you want to support Nabwana Igg's next film venture and help it gain a larger budget, visit his website and donate. We may be witnessing the rise of a low-budget director like the next Kurt Russel. I mean, Kurt Russel BEFORE Sharkboy and Lavagirl.
Sunday, June 28, 2015
Tuesday, June 16, 2015
The Critical Frog: Sophia Grace and Rosie's Royal Adventure
Child actors are somewhat of a balancing act in the world of film. On one hand, a good child actor can deliver some good lines and add a touch of innocence to any role. But on the other, most of them wind up doing some pretty bad reads from time to time and have a tendency to fall into disrepair (Mara Wilson did an entire article on why this is. Go read it.). Of course, we've had some good child actors- Culkin, Elijah Wood, and a few others. The stars of today's film are not.
Can someone please enlighten me as to why sisters Sophia Grace and Rosie are famous and/or talented enough to warrant a film based on them? The biography lists them as singers- but after listening to them, I refuse to believe that.
People say baseball is popular because everybody thinks they can play it. Perhaps that explains the popularity of stars like the Olsen Twins or Sophia and Rosie: people, particularly little girls, love them because they think they could be them. Yes, but the Olsen Twins could at least act, wheras the sisters here are probably animatronic barbie dolls.
Have you ever seen The Princess Diaries? It's a terrible couple of films that love to demean girls under the premise of empowering them. You know, pretending to teach morals when in reality it's all materialism and shaping to fit society's norms. What could be better than making a musical version and adding some terrible child actors?
The plot of the film is straightforward: Sophia Grace and Rosie, neither of which is tolerable, are sent to aid and attend the coronation of a queen in Whatevania (The new Frog term for a random, non-existent country in Europe). Through a series of events, they become separated from their guide (who is subject to identity theft and misery, because why not?) and eventually meet Abigail, a princess who does not want to be queen and is content with letting one of her sisters have the throne. The girls disapprove of this for some reason, despite not actually living anywhere near the country, and work to transform a confident, comic-loving, cosplaying princess (AKA a comic nerd's dream) into a pink-dressed and proper princess for the throne to fit their idea of perfection. There's also a magic duck thrown in because why not.
Listening to Sophia Grace and Rosie talk is like being stuck in a long line with a valley girl. You want to tell them to shut up, but then you miss seeing what it leads up to. And what does it lead up to? That valley girl singing in a horrible falsetto. The music here is AWFUL.
Let me just throw a bit of context in. Fourteen years before this film came out, Aurelio Voltaire released my favorite album of all time, Almost Human. This came with 11 splendid songs (actually 13, but 2 are in Spanish and I can't understand them), including the extremely catchy "Alchemy Mondays", the controversial "God Thinks", and the absolutely incredible "Feathery Wings".
You'd think people would learn what a good singer is after all that time. The fact that this film containing very loud and obnoxious little girls singing a bad rendition of "Can't Touch This" has sold about as many copies as Almost Human is just sad.
I hate these little girls. I really do. They're spoiled, ear-bleedingly loud, irritating and overall unpleasant. But, of course, they win in the end. Because that's a good message for young girls, isn't it? You always win in life if you act like a brat and force others to change. Sounds fine to me.
OVERALL RATING: 1/10
------------------------------------------------
As much as I hate the backwards moral and the despicable little girls, it's not horrible enough to warrant the dreaded zero. At the very least, the girls have good hearts and the character of Abigail is kind of cool-but that's no excuse for the terrible plot and lesson.
NEW FROG DICTIONARY WORDS:
-------------------------------------------------
Whatevania: Combination of 'Whatever' and '-Vania'. Technical term for any unnamed or non-existent European country in films based on princesses. CGI films excluded.
Whatevistan: Similar to 'Whatevania', but more commonly used in action or war films. Pertaining to an unnamed or nonexistent country in the Middle East.
Can someone please enlighten me as to why sisters Sophia Grace and Rosie are famous and/or talented enough to warrant a film based on them? The biography lists them as singers- but after listening to them, I refuse to believe that.
People say baseball is popular because everybody thinks they can play it. Perhaps that explains the popularity of stars like the Olsen Twins or Sophia and Rosie: people, particularly little girls, love them because they think they could be them. Yes, but the Olsen Twins could at least act, wheras the sisters here are probably animatronic barbie dolls.
Have you ever seen The Princess Diaries? It's a terrible couple of films that love to demean girls under the premise of empowering them. You know, pretending to teach morals when in reality it's all materialism and shaping to fit society's norms. What could be better than making a musical version and adding some terrible child actors?
The plot of the film is straightforward: Sophia Grace and Rosie, neither of which is tolerable, are sent to aid and attend the coronation of a queen in Whatevania (The new Frog term for a random, non-existent country in Europe). Through a series of events, they become separated from their guide (who is subject to identity theft and misery, because why not?) and eventually meet Abigail, a princess who does not want to be queen and is content with letting one of her sisters have the throne. The girls disapprove of this for some reason, despite not actually living anywhere near the country, and work to transform a confident, comic-loving, cosplaying princess (AKA a comic nerd's dream) into a pink-dressed and proper princess for the throne to fit their idea of perfection. There's also a magic duck thrown in because why not.
Listening to Sophia Grace and Rosie talk is like being stuck in a long line with a valley girl. You want to tell them to shut up, but then you miss seeing what it leads up to. And what does it lead up to? That valley girl singing in a horrible falsetto. The music here is AWFUL.
Let me just throw a bit of context in. Fourteen years before this film came out, Aurelio Voltaire released my favorite album of all time, Almost Human. This came with 11 splendid songs (actually 13, but 2 are in Spanish and I can't understand them), including the extremely catchy "Alchemy Mondays", the controversial "God Thinks", and the absolutely incredible "Feathery Wings".
You'd think people would learn what a good singer is after all that time. The fact that this film containing very loud and obnoxious little girls singing a bad rendition of "Can't Touch This" has sold about as many copies as Almost Human is just sad.
I hate these little girls. I really do. They're spoiled, ear-bleedingly loud, irritating and overall unpleasant. But, of course, they win in the end. Because that's a good message for young girls, isn't it? You always win in life if you act like a brat and force others to change. Sounds fine to me.
OVERALL RATING: 1/10
------------------------------------------------
As much as I hate the backwards moral and the despicable little girls, it's not horrible enough to warrant the dreaded zero. At the very least, the girls have good hearts and the character of Abigail is kind of cool-but that's no excuse for the terrible plot and lesson.
NEW FROG DICTIONARY WORDS:
-------------------------------------------------
Whatevania: Combination of 'Whatever' and '-Vania'. Technical term for any unnamed or non-existent European country in films based on princesses. CGI films excluded.
Whatevistan: Similar to 'Whatevania', but more commonly used in action or war films. Pertaining to an unnamed or nonexistent country in the Middle East.
Monday, June 15, 2015
The Critical Frog: Genie in a Bikini
It's always a great thing when you can deduce exactly what you're in for the instant you see the title of the film. Take a film known as "Genie in a Bikini". Of course you know what to expect: There is a genie, the genie is wearing the previously mentioned swimsuit, and there will be a significant number of magical hijinks involving the genie and the genie's various child co-stars.
What better way to celebrate Memorial Day, representing the sacrifice of some and the courage of all, then with a film called "Genie in a Bikini"? Gotta love Nickelodeon's logic on this one.
Did you ever play Dragon Quest 9? It was a game for the DS that allowed for open exploration, great customization, huge boss battles and a very fun class change system. One of the special items was known as the Minstrel's Medal, and it allowed characters to equip armor that would normally be suited for the other gender. Luckily, the game had a good sense of humor and dignity, and would not allow males to equip more risque' items such as swimsuits, claiming that "even the medal won't let you get away with this one". This is a lesson that Genie in a Bikini needs to learn.
This genie is a male, and physically unable to look anything aside from disturbing in a bikini. The plot of the film regards this genie being discovered by a group of teenagers, who in no way question the magical being's choice of swimwear,
The main issue of the film comes not only from the typical genie formula of children using limitless power for stupid things, but from the genie's inability to grant said stupid wishes properly (a plate of cheese becomes a plate of bees, etc.). You've all seen a film like this before, that uses the Monkey's Paw method of wish granting.
What I'll never understand about genie films is why the keeper never ends up using the magical creature to it's full potential. "Hmm, so I've got a magical humanoid capable of bending the very fabric of reality. What should I do with him? End world hunger? Cure the sick? Oh, how I could use his powers to make the world a better place!"
"OR......I could wish for an ice-cream sundae. Tough choice here."
The creators of this film had a similar choice. They could put some time and effort into it and wind up with a legitimately funny and creative film for children, or they could make Genie in a Bikini. I'm sure it was a tough choice here as well.
OVERALL RATING: 3/10
-------------------------------------
I honestly feel bad for the actor who's playing the genie here. This is a theatrical debut he's making, and the first role he winds up in is a genie wearing a piece of women's swimwear. Somehow, somewhere, Chaos Lord Tibecenas, Norm The Genie and Robin Williams are crying for him.
What better way to celebrate Memorial Day, representing the sacrifice of some and the courage of all, then with a film called "Genie in a Bikini"? Gotta love Nickelodeon's logic on this one.
Did you ever play Dragon Quest 9? It was a game for the DS that allowed for open exploration, great customization, huge boss battles and a very fun class change system. One of the special items was known as the Minstrel's Medal, and it allowed characters to equip armor that would normally be suited for the other gender. Luckily, the game had a good sense of humor and dignity, and would not allow males to equip more risque' items such as swimsuits, claiming that "even the medal won't let you get away with this one". This is a lesson that Genie in a Bikini needs to learn.
This genie is a male, and physically unable to look anything aside from disturbing in a bikini. The plot of the film regards this genie being discovered by a group of teenagers, who in no way question the magical being's choice of swimwear,
The main issue of the film comes not only from the typical genie formula of children using limitless power for stupid things, but from the genie's inability to grant said stupid wishes properly (a plate of cheese becomes a plate of bees, etc.). You've all seen a film like this before, that uses the Monkey's Paw method of wish granting.
What I'll never understand about genie films is why the keeper never ends up using the magical creature to it's full potential. "Hmm, so I've got a magical humanoid capable of bending the very fabric of reality. What should I do with him? End world hunger? Cure the sick? Oh, how I could use his powers to make the world a better place!"
"OR......I could wish for an ice-cream sundae. Tough choice here."
The creators of this film had a similar choice. They could put some time and effort into it and wind up with a legitimately funny and creative film for children, or they could make Genie in a Bikini. I'm sure it was a tough choice here as well.
OVERALL RATING: 3/10
-------------------------------------
I honestly feel bad for the actor who's playing the genie here. This is a theatrical debut he's making, and the first role he winds up in is a genie wearing a piece of women's swimwear. Somehow, somewhere, Chaos Lord Tibecenas, Norm The Genie and Robin Williams are crying for him.
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