I've had such an eventful summer I needed to take a break from Equestria and journey into the real world. And by 'Real World' I mean attempting to go up into the mountains but contracting a stomach virus after accidentally drinking untreated water. That led to a visit to the doctor and the realization that I nearly died from dehydration, and I needed to get an IV- so long story short, I haven't had much access to a computer lately due to my travels. All I was able to locate was a TV, and all it was playing was the Disney Channel. I decided to give it a watch, and so I came across Teen Beach Movie.
Okay, before people get on me, I get that this is supposed to appeal mainly to small children. And the musical genre, while appealing mainly to girls, generally reins this into the small girl category (although I do have experience with girly TV, due to my crippling pony addiction). And I'm sure if any little girls see this, they may be inclined to complain if I hate on this film. So to those girls, I say "have fun!". Movies are meant to be enjoyed, and I love them too much to want anybody to have a bad time during one. But before you complain, keep reading.
The film centers around a boy and girl, Brady and Mackenzie (Mack for short), surfers who spend their summer together hanging out and surfing. After a viewing of the movie Wet Side Story (think of the original with bikers and surfers), they are swept away by an enormous wave and knocked unconcious. When they come to, they are greeted with a strange phenomenon: they have magically been transported into the film! Upon arriving in a music number which they accidentally enter, we learn each character's reactions to the teleportation (Mack wants to get out as fast as she can, but Brady wants to enjoy it) and the story to the original movie as it progresses.
Things quickly get out of hand as the two interrupt the big romance scene and fall in love with the opposite gender leads of the film. The couple then plays through the film in an attempt to find a way to escape while still keeping the original film universe intact. Should they fail, they will be trapped in the movie as characters and forced to relive the same story over and over as the new male and female leads.
Of course, like any musical (or parody of one), there has to be songs. But unlike many musical numbers, some of the ones in this flick are actually pretty good. The clash between the bikers and surfers in the original film is played out decently in song (I cite "Cruisin' for a Bruisin' in particular). I imagine i could pluck some of the songs out of this number and make part of a musical mix tape. A personal pleasure is "Make It Stop", sung by Mack and Brady, as they randomly burst into song (becoming part of the film), about how Mackenzie does not want to sing and dance but her body is moving against her will. It's a clever number, executed well and adding to the satirical humor of the film . It's nothing like, say, the overused "Let It Go" in terms of awesomeness or the hilarious parodies of Weird Al Yankovic, but it gets the job done.
OVERALL RATING: 5/10
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You know, this is another one of those guilty pleasure films. I wish I could fully hate it or love it, but it's a mixed bag. I'll watch it and like it, but definitely not show it. Honestly, I wish I could just make the entire review say, "Look, of course it's not a really good film. But it has some clever songs, a satirical sense of humor that's strangely amusing, and dozens if not hundreds of wonderful girls in bikinis.", but here at Frog Enterprises we believe in full-service reviews. You're welcome.
(Apologies to the late Ebert for parodying his quote)
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